December 28, 2017
It’s been a while since I’ve sat down and chatted. After all, that is the reason for the “Coffee Talk” section of my blog in the first place.
So whatever your cup of magic is, grab it and let’s recap 2017 from my eyes. I want to talk about three words that summed up my year.
My devotional this morning read,
The word fear resonates with me a lot. This year in particular was full of fear followed by breakthroughs. But let’s start with fear.
On March 8th, 2017 I launched Fit Freedom Lifestyle. Talk about the most nerve-racking thing I’ve ever done. I don’t know if that means I haven’t done much with my life but nonetheless, I was shaking in my fuzzy socks.
If you’ve ever created something you dreamed of for a long time, then watched it come to life, you know it’s a very surreal moment. A moment of overwhelming pride, joy, annnnnnnnd fear. I think it’s natural to feel fear when the outcome could be humiliation or judgment. It’s easy to say, “screw what everyone else thinks!” but it’s not that easy.
I’m creating this blog for other people, to help and inspire them. What people think matters to me! Maybe I can get over how you think of me, personally. But when I got my first dislike on a YouTube video, my content, my creation. I literally couldn’t sleep that night. Maybe I’m dramatic but no, that was not fun.
Eventually I got over it. I could have allowed fear to take over and I could have stopped YouTube all together. But I didn’t because that would have been the easy thing to do. Although I know that it comes with the job to get some criticism, the amount of people that have reached out to me to thank me far outweighs any fear I have or criticism I’ll get. Because if you actually want to help people, nothing else matters.
Jon and I always say, when you start to get haters, you know you’re making moves. We joke, but it’s true.
The negative thoughts in your head saying that other people are going to judge you, and talk about you, is the devil.
No seriously, the actual devil. Please don’t let that voice in your head stop you from doing what you love or being who you want to be.
Give those fears to the Lord, girlfriend. I promise you, you were not made to handle that crap on your own.
Here comes the breakthrough: I STARTED MY BLOG!!!! YA BUDDY!
Fit Freedom Lifestyle is my baby you guys. It’s everything I believe in and then some. This first 9 months of blogging has taught me so much more about myself, the needs of others and how I can serve people. This is my DREAM job and I’m forever grateful to YOU for being here. I genuinely adore the community of women and men around me and I would have none of that If I let fear control my life.
On January 16, 2017 I became a wife. 🙂
Being a wife is the sweetest gift. It’s the most beautiful blessing but that doesn’t mean it’s always perfect. Every day you choose your partner and everything that comes with them.
Sometimes I’ll look at Jon and get overwhelmed by the man I get to call mine forever. And sometimes I look at him and I’m so annoyed by him chomping his food that I could actually pulling out my eyelashes one by one.
But wow, do I love this man more every day. He has changed my life in every aspect. He has believed in me from the beginning.
I met Jon on my first day of work at MPLS Fit Body Bootcamp in 2015. I had just moved to Minneapolis, and took the first job I could get. I was very lost at this point in my life and I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was struggling with loving myself, struggling with my relationship at the time, and I was resisting God — afraid to give Him control of my life.
In the gym we used to write our goals on a whiteboard for the upcoming month and leave it up to keep us accountable. I was struggling to find a goal, I wasn’t very driven and had very little belief in myself of what I could actually accomplish.
Jon was off to the side talking to someone else.
As I was looking at the board with the marker in my hand, trying to come up with something simple, like ‘drink more water’, or ‘attend 20 sessions a month’. I looked to my side and Jon was standing there.
Now remember, at this time he was just my boss. And in these next words that he said to me, literally changed my life.
If there were ever an appropriate time to actually use the word “literally” it would be now.
“I just wanted you to know, I see you. I see your potential. I know what you can do. I don’t know why but I needed to tell you that.”
I froze and didn’t say anything back. As he walked back to his conversation, I just started crying. The Holy Spirit was in that room, in those words and I just gave into Him.
I went home that night and cried out to Jesus, putting my faith in Him. Giving Him my fears, my doubt, the hatred in my heart, my relationships, my body. I was so tired of hating myself, of trying to make things work that weren’t meant to.
I heard Him more clearly and for the first time I chose to obey what I was being told. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. I was breaking up a 2 year relationship but I couldn’t give him a reason why. I would scream to Jesus, “why am I doing this, why are you making me do this?!” I just knew that it was right but it didn’t make it any easier.
I also lost a lot of friends during this time. People who I considered my best friends, were gone from my life and it was really lonely. The only thing I could do was trust and put my faith in the Lord.
He had much bigger plans for me, starting with the indescribable and irreplaceable love and peace I found with Jon. One of my greatest blessings.
It was Jon and that time in my life that brought me closer to Jesus and through His love I found the confidence and belief in myself that I can do anything that I want to do in this life. Limits do not exist when you want something bad enough. Which brings me to my last lesson learned.
This year I learned that my body is capable of more than I could have ever imagined. I pushed myself past limits and when I thought I couldn’t go any further, I did! I surprised myself day after day.
I learned the importance of listening to your body and being proud of how far you’ve come rather than dwelling on how far you have to go.
A healthy and balanced lifestyle is what I strive for every day and it’s what I love sharing with you.
I learned that motivation comes and goes, and it’s discipline that will get you to where you want to be. People can coach you, they can tell you exactly what to do and when to do it but that won’t change you unless you’re willing to. You have to be ready and you have to be disciplined to get results.
I can’t thank you enough for the support you all continue to give me by liking my posts, sharing, commenting, encouraging, none of it goes unnoticed.
I CAN’T WAIT FOR 2018. I’m so excited to have you on this journey with me! Thank you so much for reading. xo
all my love,
p.s. I never want to push my beliefs onto you. Thank you for allowing me to share my walk with Jesus and my experiences openly. I would love to hear from you – leave a comment below or message me!